you don't need to look to someone else to tell you how good you are.

breath breath breath.

The ice is melting away
And I am falling through.
I swear the sea will
Swallow me whole.

Do me wrong.

Yesterday I was fully prepared to just ditch everything. Drop out of school, quit both jobs and move to New York and form a 2 person band, She & Him style.
Still wanna make that band.

96

why do you put me in this place? how can you, still?

insignias

Tired.

cherry, pick it up.

I hope this is real, because if it's not, it's the best damn dream I've had in a long time.

we started the fire.

I'm sorry but I'm not surprised.

I got fake nails so I would stop biting them out of anxiety. I cracked through yet another fake one today.
But I haven't been this light hearted in a long time.

never mind the clouds

I wished that the walk down the hall was longer. I was at my door far too quick. So I walked by it. Cream colored walls and doors, each complete with peep holes and brass knockers. All different. All the same. I wondered which place you lived in. Each door I passed, I wondered if you were on the other side. I wondered what you were doing at that very moment. Maybe you weren't even home. I heard the elevator creaking and thought that you might be in it. I never find you when I am looking. But I always do when I'm not.
It has been raining for three days.

that boy is a monster

la mort c'est la mort. mais l'amour c'est l'amour. la mort c'est seulement la mort. mais l'amour c'est l'amour

Today Just Works

You make me tick tick tick.

content, yes.

it's all relative.

Have you ever been awake for 88 hours? That is nearly 4 days. After that long, you start to experience slowed speech and flattened emotional responses, as in not giving a shit, impaired memory and an inability to be novel or multitask. Even walking around is daunting. As you get to the point of falling asleep, you will fall into micro sleeps that cause lapses in attention, like randomly nod off while doing an activity like driving or reading and then finally experience hypnagogic hallucinations, the beginning of REM sleep
Everything feels like a dream. The air is literally hazy, and the sun is so incredibly bright it hurts. You hear everything and nothing at all.
I am so tired.
I cannot remember the last time I fell asleep before 3am save for alcohol induced comas.
There is this little piece of time, between 6am and 10am, when the sky turns from navy blue onward, that has become my salvation. Finally my brain dies and I am motionless entirely. A conflicting schedule, however, infringes upon this grace period and less then once a week this happens.
I think I should invest in a heavy nightcap.
Like 9000 proof whiskey.

9 am on a Monday and I think of you.

Coffee and a banana
Waking up too early
Going to bed too
Late.
Nourishment and
Stimuli.
Sunshine,
Storm inside.
We are both
Stuck in the same
Place, with the same
Feelings.
I can unstick you.
The solvent to your
Adhesion.
And we'll lay in
Each others arms
And hurt
Until we heal just
The same.
Broken apart,
But fixed together.

blood bath

Why do we long for someone? Why do we need to hold hands and kiss and hug? Why are our happiest days spent with someone else?
We sacrifice far too much whilst blinded by love & lust, and usually always come out short changed in the end. Do I believe in this anymore? I'm just waiting for a surprise.
Now, who will surprise me?

blow kisses not coke.

had a really good time today.

typography time pt 2

zombies, birds & tea.

Trying to get a handle on the life thing. I haven't had a day off in a month since I started my second job. Finally, today I get one because of circumstance. I am ill again. I need to go to the doctors before I get some sort of zombie disease. Oh well, Neocitran until its gone! 

HBD Beckay! <3

12:20am

Today, God decided that he needed you in Heaven with him, instead of down here on Earth with us. Rest in peace Mitchell. 

ps

it is a fabulously gorgeous day for the first day of March. 

japan, we salute.

I am excited for this week. I bet it proves to be unexpected.